GTA in KSA Revisited (but probably not for the last time.)

Okay, so when I landed in Jeddah (at 2 a.m. local time and I had been up for over 24 hours) I noticed that the traffic behavior was MUCH better than I remember. It still is now but there are, shall we say, things that are still unique, yes, that's an innocuous term, unique it is.

For instance, at a red light where I needed to make a U-turn (which is legal here) I was most obviously in the left most lane. There were four normal lanes marked on the roadway, the U-turn lane was the addition on the left, duh, at the signal. The lane to my right could have either taken a U-turn or the left turn. In a normal universe the next lane over would have to go straight, or so one might guess. One might be wrong. There was a taxi two lanes over from me and he pulled a U-turn in front of the other cars just as soon as the light turned green. Surprised I most definitely was not.

This was not an isolated incident and a taxi driver should know how to get in the correct lane before an intersection. When I think about it and wonder what would cause them to drive like that I hear the Church Lady's voice saying, "Could it be.....?" 

Now, on what passes for a highway in Jeddah, the behavior of the average driver is less than stellar. IMHO, if they happened to be in the Detroit area and behaved this way then they'd be driven off the road (but only if the Michigander was in a good mood.) In downtown I suspect the ramifications (pun intended) would be much more severe and likely involve gun-play.

However, as my past readers may recall, I grew to drive just like the locals when I was in the Magic Kingdom seven years ago. That was why, on my return to the states, I enlisted my darling wife to drive me everywhere, not just because I was rediscovering the joys of fermented beverages but that I really didn't trust my instincts on the road. Sad to say that after being here less than a month, I am reverting back to bad habits. As Pogo once said, "We have met the enemy and he is us." 

The key thing is - whatever you do - don't make eye contact. Just drive as if you are the only car on the road. Lane markings are for the weak and sissies. I don't lay on the horn much, which is extremely common, but flashing the headlights to signal the car in front of you that you do not respect their position in line is well within expected norms. As for merging? I believe that in Michigan there is something in driver's ed training about a scissors zipper merge whereby one car lets another car into line in an alternating fashion. Here it is more of a knife merge. When I went to the Old Souq in the Al Balad district, I got stuck in the middle lane of three lanes of traffic trying to make a left turn onto a one lane road. I was five-six cars back and didn't realize it at the time. Rookie mistake. As the pickle vendor at the Ren-Fest would say, "Push and shove, push and shove, you'll get there faster if you push and shove."

Driving is a challenge to say the least. Although the traffic is lighter than the M-59 & I-75 intersection during rush hour(s). I've talked with some of the guys and they complain about how heavy the traffic is. And they don't even do the speed limit! It's 100 KPH and many people are doing 80, sometimes even 60 in the passing lane. Did I mention that there are U-turns on the highway? (At least there is an added lane for the purpose but there is still that special guy who is three lanes over and realizes that this is his turn, hilarity ensues.)

Yeah, they'd get eaten alive on I-75 morning and night. Oh, but the most entertaining thing I saw this past Thursday morning was traffic slowing down and cutting left and right in front of be because one of the jokers from the military base (he was in uniform) was doing a near vertical wheelie on his motorcycle going 80 KPH. All I could think about was 'get out of my way the speed limit is 100 KPH'. Kids nowadays! Saving grace? He did have a helmet on.

There, I'll get off my soap box for now. I reserve the right to revisit this topic later on during my stint in purgatory. It's always sunny in Saudi Arabia.
 😉